Me, this morning, explaining my scary dream to my fiance.
Me: Oh my God, I just had the scariest dream.
Al: What happened?
Me: Okay, so I was driving drunk -- which is weird, because why would I ever do that? -- and I thought I was fine, but then I ran into this parked car.
Al: Uh huh...
Me: And so I got out to see how bad it was and the rear window of this car was totally smashed and the bumper was just destroyed, and my front bumper was all dented. Oh, also, my car was an orange, vintage pickup truck. With no front window.
Al: Okay...
Me: Okay, so then it turns out this old woman had been sitting in the parked car that I hit. So she gets out and assesses the damage and I don't want her to know I'm drunk, so I'm acting all confident and trying to be sober. Which doesn't really work and I can tell she's onto me. So I'm getting nervous, you know?
Al: Okaaayyy....
Me: So then she's like, "Well, why don't we exchange insurance information." So we exchange insurance information. And then, like a week later, I get a call from her saying she took the car to the bodyshop and got a quote for $90,000. $90,000!!! I can't pay that!
Al: [Silence]
Me: I mean, $90,000, she's obviously extorting me. And she's making noise like she's going to go to the cops about my being drunk. Like she's going to bring criminal charges. And I can't have a DUI on my record, I mean, I'm an attorney for God's sake.
Al: [Silence]
Me: Anyway, it was really scary. I basically had to drain my savings and take out another loan to pay her off.
Al: That... sounds scary. And detailed.
Me: Thank God it was only a dream.
